We went to family wedding this weekend. You know what struck me the most? How young the bride and groom were. They were obviously old enough to get married, it's just that I remember my own wedding like it was yesterday; yet, fifteen years later we have lived a lifetime since that day! It was very sentimental! We watched this young beautiful couple that has their lifetime ahead of them. They have no idea the bursting and unctrollable love they will feel when they have children. They have no idea of the pain they may feel when friends begain divorcing or fall fatally ill. While we have certainly had our share of good and sad times, it made me realize that we wouldn't even trade the sad ones. They've made us who we are today as a couple. We're not perfect--far from it. But we are the Dippels and I like the Dippels. What a beautiful wedding and what beautiful memories it brought back. Looking back, I wouldn't change a thing.

It's a Boy!

We found out recently we are having a boy. Did we care one way or the other? Not really. I confess to feeling like I'm more comfortable with girls because I understand them, I know how they think, I know their emotions. Boys? Not as much. I've been spending alot of time trying to tune into my young six year old son. Result? He amazes me. There is an undeniable bond between a mother and her son. When I see him acting like a gentleman, being considerate, or doing something consistent with what our family's values are, I am full. I am proud. I am tearful. (That may just be the hormones.) I love him dressed up like a little man. I love him all dirty, sweaty, and smelly. I love him watching him sleep. He makes me laugh. I decided what most kids need is the same--boy or girl. Love. Knowing I love them and knowing there is nothing they can do or not do to change that. Knowing that I like the person they are. I hope they know all of these things.

Missing Babar

This is a picture of my grandmother, I called her Babar, at her 90th birthday party. You may wonder why a classy southern belle would be blowing a party favor while having brunch at the club. The answer seems clear enough to me--her great-granddaugther asked her to! I have spoken to many friends about how much I loved my grandmother. She lived down the street from me almost my entire life. I spent probably as many nights at her house as my own--and so did my friends. My friends knew to call me at her house if I wasn't at home. We'd all come to her house sometimes for lunch, sometimes after a football game. Sometimes we had the courtesy to call. But probably most often we didn't. She loved listening to our stories. She passed away peacefully a couple of years ago. It has surprised me how sad I have been at losing her. You're supposed to lose your grandparents. But this really hurts. I think about her almost every day. Especially now with another baby on the way--the only baby that she will never meet. I had a dream the other night that she walked by me and touched my cheek as if to say, "it's alright, I'm here." I hope she looks down on us and meets her last great-grandchild. I miss her. She epitomized Southern hospitality. She was Christian. She was gracious. She was welcoming. She was beautiful. She loved family. She loved fried chicken. She was my Babar.

And Baby Makes Three...

Wow. My husband and I just kept repeating this three-letter very insightful word. Wow. We're going to have another baby. Wow. With a 10 year old and a 6 year old, we weren't expecting to find ourselves here again. But wow. What an incredible and wonderful surprise. My mind wanders ahead 5 or so years as it did with the birth of each of my children. I imagine their relationships with each other and smile. I fast forward 10 years and imagine our house full of friends and girlfriends and boyfriends and laughter. A big, loud, chaotic, fun house. That's what I've always wanted. We are thrilled, surprised, shocked, excited, and scared. Because mothers do worry about everything that can go wrong, I worry we've tempted fate too many times with two beautiful healthy children. Are we too greedy to expect a third? Am I really too old to do this a third time? Is a third c-section healthy? I have been praying and I hope you will join me in praying for a healthy pregnancy and delivery and a third beautiful healthy baby to join the Dippel clan. For those keeping count, that's five grandchildren on my side and ten on David's. I love being this baby's mom already as much as I love being it's brother and sister's mom. Wow.

Team Dippel takes it to Germany

We have just returned from a family vacation to Munich Germany. It was our first trip to Europe and we took the kids--whew! We were visiting David's brother and his family who are living and working there for a couple of years with his company's Munich office. It was the trip of a lifetime and I see how people get the "travel bug!" David and I both want to go back just as soon as we can. What struck me the most is how young America seemed in comparison. Every building there seemed to date back hundreds of years (at least). Most had been re-built after being demolished in the war. The churches were amazing--there is no other word. I thought of what I might show folks visiting here as "must-sees." There are many of course, Barton Creek, Antones, the Capitol.....but none with the rich historical history of Southern Germany. Another thing that struck me is that I thought many times about David's brother, Daniel, whom we lost too soon to cancer in 2005. I thought about how much fun he would have had on that trip hanging out with his younger and older brother seeing parts of Germany they hadn't seen before. What a blessing to spend that time with David's brother and his beautiful family, and to expose the kids to Europe at such a young age. What a privilege! We can't wait to do it again.

Why I Chose to Become a Lawyer

I wish there were an inspiring answer to the question, "why did you become a lawyer?" The truth is, I don't remember the exact moment. I wish it were something altruistic, like an uncontrollable desire to help those in need. Yes, I have volunteered many hours for Volunteer Legal Services and it does feel amazing to help someone get disability benefits or to leave an abusive marriage. I went to Girl's State in 1987 and that was my first introduction to the world of politics. I felt exhilarated learning I won the race for DA of my dorm. But I don't think either of those experiences was the true motivation. The hard truth is that, as an immature teeanger, I probably just thought being a lawyer would be glamorous and I would earn alot of money. The reality is that it is far from glamorous. It's plain hard work that never--never--stops. You're never "finished." It's dealing with alot of jerks and knowing that to be professional means not to reciprocate. Looking back now, with hopefully a little persepctive and a touch of wisdom, what I really think led me to the law is that I have a favorite uncle who is a lawyer. I think the world of him, and he makes me feel like I mean the world to him. He is what I imagine a big brother would be like. He is a good person -- a person who tells it like it is, enjoys life, and is smart, funny, and clever. He has a way of distilling what I think are huge problems to manageable decisions. And usually with a joke. I love him dearly, I think I wanted to be more like him and I wanted him to be proud of me. I guess that's not such a bad inspiration after all. And the money's not bad.

A Religious Experience

This may be a little out there, and it's definitely personal, so sounds like the perfect thing to blog about right? ;-) We have recently switched churches. We were members of a methodist church downtown mostly because that's where my dad was a member. We made friends, felt at home, and liked it alot. However, many of our neighbors attend our neighborhood methodist church and we decided to give it a try. We've been hooked ever since. I've attended church all my life. Growing up in a small town, it was also a real community of people, not just somewhere you went on Sundays. My happiest memories are of sunday school, sitting in service with my grandmother while my parents sang in the choir, fried chicken and the cowboys game at my grandmother's, and then youth group in the evening. Our new neighborhood church feels exactly like that. The kids have friends from school there, and we have friends from everywhere there. My husband, who I used to have to convince to go to church, I now overhear inviting people to come with us. Our sunday school class is made up of friends and we talk about everything. It feels like a community and I honestly want to tell people about it. I'm happy to raise our children with our church community as their foundation. I know that same little voice that I heard as a teen will speak to them too and I hope they will make better decisions by following it. We all have lots of questions about religion, I know I do too. But I feel good there, I feel the presence of God there, and it makes our family happy. While I miss seeing my dad on Sunday, and I miss watching the kids go back and forth in the pews to sit with him for awhile, I know this was the right thing to do. God is working and speaking and we are listening.

Glory Days

I had the chance to meet some college friends for a drink this week. Yes, I'm a sorority girl. Shocker, I know. I miss those gals!! So fun to meet up with all of them again and see where their lives are now. So many have done so many interesting things. I love that it makes feel twenty years old again. We laughed and giggled about all of the fun times at the Adpi house, all the times at the KA house, all of the times at El Arroyo, Grin's, Peppers, and (gulp) Herbert's Taco Hut. We laughed like a bunch of teenagers. A friend once told me that the friends you make in college are the ones that stay in your life forever because they are the ones that YOU picked for no other reason than you had something unique in common. That's so true. It's hard to find the time for meeting up with old friends but it is so important. It keeps me young. When we get together it's as if not one single day has gone by. We just drink in more expensive places!

Suggestion box is open!

Life is hectic. No doubt. But, when is it too hectic? When does trying to create so many experiences for our kids begin to detract from the experience for which it was intended? I want to do it all. Not a surprise for those who know me. I want to be a successful lawyer to teach my kids you can be successful in your career AND successful at home. In fact, maybe more successful at home because of your outside career. But man it gets hard. As the kids get older I feel like there is so much I need to teach them! I want to introduce and help foster (but not control) their relationshp with God. I want them to learn to be charitable. I want them to be compassionate. I want to teach them how to make good choices when they're faced with tough decisions. I want to teach them that sometimes you just have to CHOOSE to be happy. The older they get I realize just how quickly those tough decisions are going to be thrust upon them. It is overwhelming isn't it? I'm taking suggestions! How do YOU juggle?

Patience

Patience. I pray for patience. I pray for patience just about every day. And I want it now! Oops! My need for patience is most important with my relationship with my children. We always seem to be off to our next "thing." School, church, soccer, dinner, etc. How many times a day do I say "Come on!" When I hurry those little time suckers, they miss out on alot. They miss out on watching the ladybug make it to the top of the branch. They miss out on wondering which way the rain drop is going to roll when it slides down the windshield. They miss out on figuring out if they can wiggle their pinky toe without wiggling the other ones. And I miss out on them seeing discover all of those things. Today, I say a prayer for patience. If for no other reason than to let my children see me smile more often than they see me frown. Have you ever seen yourself frown in the mirror? It's not pretty. My grandmother always said, "sometimes you just have to choose to be happy." Most of the time when you "choose happy" before you know it, you actually are happy. Today, I "choose happy!"

Macabre Moments

Someone close to me is experiencing health problems. Someone my age. Someone very like me. Real health problems. Sobering. Seems sadness has been around our family for the last few years. Starting with losing David's brother to cancer, one of my favorite uncle's cancer diagnosis, the death my dear grandmother, and now....this. I just feel so damned...vulnerable. If you think too long about life and death, you'll go crazy. What I think about? Watching my sister-in-law brave being a widow and single parent knowing that I can do nothing to help, watching my father bury his beloved mother, worried about having to do that myself in the future, worried about the pain my children will feel when they have to do that. It's too much! Then, I say a prayer. A prayer for silence and quiet moments. A prayer for perspective. A prayer for gratitude that all of these improtant people are in my life to worry over. A prayer. Then I get a grip. It's hell getting older isn't it?

Blogging Debut!

I follow so many blogs, I decided to jump into the blogoshpere as any self-respecting Gen X-er should do. I don't consider myself a technology geek--but the moment I posted my first twitter tweet from my iPhone, I figure I'm outed. I'm not sure what the focus of this blog will be. It feels like an online journal, which seems kind of private. Let's just see where it goes!